On Apostasy and The Church

An Ongoing Interview
With Daymon Smith, By Himself.

So popular is this author to himself, that he cannot help interview his own mind. 

First, let me get right to the point.  Many people think you are saying the Church
(the LDS Church) is in Apostasy?  So, what are you really saying, Daymon?

Good question.  What About Apostasy?  First, what is meant by that word?  I know of no real definition
of “apostasy” which gives good enough directions that one might find an instance of it.  In fact, that may be the
best indicator that one is “in” apostasy!  Ha, ha.

Look, the word is used to describe what the speaker believes is bad and wrong, and was once good and
correct.  It is useful, particularly if one has enough power/authority to make one’s definition effective on another
person.  But otherwise, the term merely marks one’s assessment, and avoids the obligation to define it, defend the assessment, and justify it.  The definition requires authority, for by that independent resource one can decide
who is good and make it so, inside that respective magic circle.

Just because a word exists, socially, doesn’t mean it really means anything in reality.  A person can
apostatize by turning against, knowingly against, what one believes is God.  It doesn’t really matter if one’s
notion of God is wrong in this particular case, so long as one believes one is turning away.  And in fact, only a false god, a badly understood, a poorly defined notion of God, can be turned away from, perhaps (unless one is really on the level with Lucifer); and that is where we find that the True God is crafty indeed, and allows us to stray from false gods.

OK, but what about institutionalized apostasy, like a Church?

Again, no definition.
Useful for finding folks who might say the same, but until it has a good
definition, it doesn’t give us anything other than “he said she said” quality
to our conversations.  It brings complainers together, and points fingers.
The Catholics?  When?  How so?
Easy to throw around, hard to explain.
That is, a good definition would be given by the concerned party:
namely, God, who is the one “turned away from,” right?

So, are you saying the Church is in apostasy?

No.  Let me be absolutely clear about this: The LDS Church is NOT IN APOSTASY!  I can bear testimony to this fact!  And use exclamations!!!  How could the Church be in something, when it isn’t something that can “be”?  That is, there is no “LDS Church,” except as a trademark of a corporation sole, which consists of one man, The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

There, that is the Church, so stop playing semantic games!

He is the corporation, and there are no other “Latter-day Saints,” except as they believe they are Saints, in their hearts or something.  But then, that means, they cannot be “excommunicated” from a work of their own hearts; and if you can’t be kicked out, it’s because you ain’t never been in.  Just so, presumably God won’t allow the
Church to go “astray,” or “the Prophet” to led “us” that way, because there is no “the Church” to go anywhere; and “the Prophet” is Joseph Smith, so of course he won’t led you astray.

What about baptism?  Aren’t we baptized a member of the Church?  So there!

Baptized a member of a church?  Um, no.
Baptism existed, historically, before any church was organized in 1830, and, indeed, in the beginning with Adam as well.  Baptism by water merely brings in a covenant, to be ratified later by the baptism of fire, and of itself does nothing without the baptism of Fire.  After baptism one’s name is entered into a database of donors, and one is given a little paper certificate, but does this really mean one has a covenant with Jesus?  That is a doubtful inference.

What about the clean feeling?  Doesn’t that mean I am a member of the Church?

Perhaps, but not the Church that doesn’t exist.  Satan can imitate angels, who think he’s unable to fake good feelings?  Or, perhaps you are doing well by trying to find Jesus. Or, you may have stumbled into the Church of Christ, but that is no mere temporal corporation.  It’s because you sought for it, and now have gained entry, but nothing more.  And believing “the Church” is that kingdom of God, well, that is the obstacle: where an image used to teach becomes an illusion used to confuse.

But if I am not a member of the Church, what about my baptismal covenants?

Which are, what?
Those relate to your relationship with Christ, not to a non-existent church.

You just have an ax to grind!  What is your problem, anyway?

My problem, what is your problem?  I’m just here to point out the fact that there is no the Church, and so it can’t be in apostasy, any more than an individual is in apostasy by leaving the Church.  The word “Apostasy” is the problem, as is the word “the Church.”  These terms cannot be defined, and so are useful to the powerful, and to pick them up and to try to use them against the powerful is to act rather stupidly.  To confound an illusion with the same illusion.  You are using their tools, which require power, in order to counter their power?  That will only extend their reach, and give the powerful more of what they desire, and you, my friend, won’t be around to
make any changes.  Until we have a definition of apostasy, from God, we have no real reason to say “the Church.”

Whatever.  That’s not how I feel.  But what do you say about the Priesthood, if there isn’t any Church?

NEXT TIME, I Answer my own question about priesthood.

Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: Standards

Standards: (n.) 1. Rules for clothing The Body of The Youth of The Church in a moral manner pleasing to the Lord.  2.  Rules for touching The Body of The Youth of The Church in a moral manner not displeasing to the Lord.  3.  Rules for listening to moral music about clothing or touching The Body of The Youth of The Church.  4.  Rules for feeding and hydrating The Body of The Youth of The Church in a manner pleasing to The Body of The Youth of The Church of The Lord etc.,.  5.  Rules given to The Youth for looking at things.  6.  Rules given to the Youth for hearing things.  7.  Rules Given to the Youth for feeling things.  8.  Rules for smelling things.  9.  Rules for The Youth, in general, for everything.  10.  Fancy Old Flags.  Through the setting of standards, the Lord who stands on the head of The Church, through The Prophet, provides for living the pure life of the gospel-lived forever-family life for The Youth, and for implementing the Plan of Happiness (q.v.).  The Youth who stray not from the path of Standards are ensured a permanent superhighway to eternal families, and research shows that The Youth who follow the Standards when youthful never stray from The Church.  When the Standards are fully implemented by The Youth, they are certain to never stray from the Plan of Happiness.  Indeed, the Standards ensure that the Youth of The Church are the purest, happiest, smartest, efficientest, submissivest, and least suicidal youth in the World (q.v.).  These standards are designed to liberate The Youth from the snares of The Adversary, whose principle concern remains, as ever, the corruption and control of The Youth.  Thus, adult members of The Church are not the principle target-demographic for the S.  Usage:  S. Night is an information delivery service provided free of charge to The Youth.  The S. of Excellence is a magic phrase which ensures that Excellence is the S.  The S. of Liberty was a fancy old flag waved by Captain Moroni, among the earliest efforts at public relations in The Church.  The revealed pronunciation is Stannerz.

Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: Correlation

Correlation: (n).  1.  The process by which the Lord who stands on the head of The Church ensures the truth and purity of every DVD, kiosk, manual, talk, news release, website, advertisement, message, donation request, real estate development portfolio, musical, sculpture, status update, Tweet, political signage, YouTube video, Visiting Teaching Message, script, song, photo, drawing, Exit sign, reply to tourists’ questions , Mall Directory,  canned peaches label, lunch menu, janitorial procedure, training film, newscast, sidewalk sign, insurance policy, employment application, investment strategy, and, indeed, even of every revelation given to the Prophet of the Church.  2.  (n.) Correlation is the metaphysical body that is the Lord’s way of bringing together the Priesthood Correlation Committee, The Correlation Division of the Correlation Department, the managing directors of the Correlation Department, hundreds of volunteers on the Correlation Sub-Committee on Correlation, the Correlation Committee Representatives, the Committee on Correlation Committee Redchairman group, the Correlation Correlation Correlation Study Group, the Committee for Correlation, and numerous other bodies which as one, united in spirit, add-value to the prayerfully inspired inspirations prophetically-driven by thousands of employees of The Church, acting as one under the prayerful guidance of The Prophet.  In this inspired manner the Lord efficiently ensures that Truths are delivered to His Children, that only the Pure Doctrines are found, that simplicity marks the daily operations of The Church, and that the Sacred Funds (q.v.) are put to efficient and wholesome uses.  History: Though formally begun in 1961 by The Prophet, C. has been the guiding program of the Lord’s People from before the beginning of time, ca. 4005 B.C.  The City of Enoch was exalted through their prayerful, inspired, successful community-of-faith value adding committee-driven excellence application of C. that is always the fruit of following C.  However, apostasies are the bitter fruit of a people rejecting the saving principles of C., and The Family is among the first victims of such an unwholesome people.  Because of C. The Family has remained pure, the doctrines eternally true, and The Church preserved from communosocialisticohedonistimific forces used by The Adversary. USAGE: marital relations between The Husband and The Wife are perfectly correlated when following the principles of C.; Manuals (q.v.) are C. when pure, true, not read nor carried to class, and bearing stock photos of smiling families used by The Lord for The Manual (q.v.); People are C. when following C.  C. is said to be perfectly correlated with a correlated people, manual, and Church.

Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: Blessing

Blessing: (n.) 1. What is owed faithful Saints by God as a result of their Good Works.  Like money, B. are part of the economy of Heaven, and are accepted at most shops, tourist attractions, and malls run by The Church (q.v.).  Though owed by God, other members of The Church may step in and pay His debts, including Patriarchs, Priesthood holders, and others authorized with Power of Attorney to act for or as God, metaphorically speaking.  Forms may be submitted to make claims upon God at The Temple (q.v.).  There are many varieties of Blessings found in The Church.  Usage: ‘Patriarchal B.’ are given by patriarchs, on a one time only offer, no rainchecks accepted; ‘Father’s B.’ are given by fathers to potentially troubled children the night before the first day of school, in place of fatherly advice and so that the Spirit (q.v.) will  give, free of charge tutoring and provide on-call homework help; ‘Temple B.’ are earned in Blessing Units that accrue, with interest, in the First Bank of Heaven;  ‘B. on the food’ magically renders all food nourishing, strengthening, and the consumer of such certain to enjoy a safe ride home; ‘Baby B.’ are given to infants so that they can be worthy to marry a worthy mate in the Temple after serving a worthy mission and returning home with honor, worthily.  And then they prayerfully endure worthily to the end; ‘B the sick’ is done by Priesthood Leaders so that the sick person will either die, or live, or remain comatose, according to their faith, and their choosing to follow the immutable Will of God, which is known by whatever eventually happens; ‘Priesthood B.’ are given by Priesthood leaders, at no cost to you, so that whatever happens will be certain to be the Will of God; Women are forbidden from B. the sick, giving Priesthood B., Patriarchal B., Father’s B., and really anything spoken that might conceivably be called a B., though they are a blessing to the Ward Family.

Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: Priestcraft

 Priestcraft: (n.) 1. The payment of money or other valuable objects to religious preachers, professors, and teachers, which potentially leads to doubts as to the sincerity of the teacher.  Common among apostate religions, and regarded as highly corrupting in the sacred Book of Mormon, P. is a principle means by which the Adversary introduces false, yet often popular or overly mysterious doctrines, into a religion.  Priests are then bribed, as it were, to teach what the people like to hear, or cannot understand, rather than what they ought to hear and may profit from learning, that is, Eternal Truths.  2.  P. is an imitation of the Revealed Order of Priesthood of CES, wherein religious instructors employed by the Corp. of the Presiding Bishop are voluntarily remunerated in exchange for reading The Manual (q.v.), which sometimes by happenstance occurs out-loud, and in the hearing of ‘students’ who are in no way encouraged or required to attend these readings, lessons, and discourses from these voluntarily remunerated instructors.  In addition, P. is in no way similar to the payment of funds to Generic Authorities of The Church, who give their time, talents, and resources to the building up of the Corporation, voluntarily, and yet happen to find that their bank accounts are, as it were by magic, but in actuality by the Hand of the Lord, replenished on a bi-weekly basis.  This replenishment is among the Greater Miracles, on par with the Miracle of Fish and Loaves.  With these meager funds The Brethren may find time to drive The Church’s luxury autos (leased by The Church, and so not given in payment for services to The Brethren) to, say, Utah Wooleries, where they enjoy freely given executive accounts for the purchasing of necessary robes, ties, shoes, slacks, and Italian suits, as well as fine recreational clothing worn during proselytizing sessions at local country clubs.  Though also by their own merits placed on the Board of Directors of numerous for-profit corporations and conglomerates, and flown about the world in first-class seats in order to visit God’s Children and thus to feed (spiritually) their (spiritually) starving souls, it can be truly demonstrated that all these Blessings are not given in return for religious preaching, as the current policies of The Church forbid teaching, preaching, revealing, seeing, and prophesying of any kind.