Selections From The Dictionary Of Correlationism: Zion

Zion: (n.) 1. The State of Utah.  2. The Church.  3. People I like.  4. A vaporous utopia in the clouds, free of all but the most sentimental music, art, and voices, where marshmallow ponies dance on (non-gay-supporting) rainbows, and many pacifiers coated in physician-approved pharmaceuticals are sucked between bottle-feedings of a milk-and-white-bread slurry called “Manna-like”; to the Called-and-Chosen, moreover, pastel robes are passed out to increase modesty, and for their comfort as they conduct non-contentious Family History under the auspices of The Church, while seated on beige sofas.  All words spoken in Z. should be extra-breathy, slow in delivery, and overwhelm the hearer in a cloud of sincerity called The City of Enoch.  5.  The result of the Priesthood Correlation Program.

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