Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: Apostasy

Apostasy:  (n.)  1.  What other religions are ‘in’, meaning, well, it’s not that God doesn’t love everyone, and the Holy Ghost is there for anyone in need of comfort, but, geez, this is awkward; um, God doesn’t ‘talk’ with any religious group/leader/member that is in A.  There.  That’s about it.  Religions “go in A.” when the members/leaders/group does something bad, or something. Look, we don’t really ‘need’ a definition of A., as God has promised, through his mostly and very probably always infallible priesthood prophets that Correlationism cannot ‘fall into A,’ or He would kill that prophet.  Even though all known prophets in Correlationism have indeed died, it is undoubtedly the case that their work was done, rather than, of course, that God killed them for apostate executive leadership practices.  So, don’t worry about what A. means, we mean.  If we needed a definition of A., we would have one, thus again proving that A. is only applicable to other religions.  Usage: Apostate: n. persons temporarily in the non-donor database; Apostatize: v. To not attend Sunday services, and also to fail to donate tithes and offer offering to The Church, probably because of sexual perversions.  [Editor’s Explanatory Note]: The Church cannot ‘fall into A.’ because The Church is not a Church, nor does it have the authority or power to fall in A.  Thus The Creator in His Infinite Wisdom gave us a trademark to belong to which cannot, by definition, be in A, but which can be defended by faithful members of The Church.

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