Selections From The Dictionary of Correlationism: The World

World (the): (n.) 1.  A vile cult where all the evil, wicked Hollywood-type liberals live, and though immeasurably unhappy, they pretend to enjoy vegetarian food, caffeinated and liquorous drink, marijuana cigarettes, immoral films, and other unwholesome consumables proscribed by The Standards of The Church.  Mostly comprised of Married Gays, the World re-populates by stealing babies of mothers undergoing forced abortions, and these babies are then sacrificed to the God of Our-Ratings, cannibalized, regurgitated, sodomized, mummified, and revived in imitation of the resurrection, and then ritually abused until brainwashed into accepting the secular principles of the Cult of The World.  Their main target is The Youth, and the W.’s most terrible weapons of sin include advertisements or actual wearing of short shorts, loose jeans, tight jeans, sleeveless gowns, long hair (on boys), short hair (on girls), beards (on boys), sideburns (on girls), bikinis (for boys and girls); the W. stages drug-fueled “raves” which are in fact religious ceremonies that steal the agency of The Youth by dragging them away from The Standards (q.v.).  When not stealing babies and marketing to The Youth, The W. is a vast army, underground network, and secret combination (q.v.) that persecutes the peaceable followers of The Church, attempting to refuse to allow revealed campaign strategies to protect The Family from their wicked plans to ruin the World.  2.  A place where people live who might be converted to The Church by The Missionaries.

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