Umm, That was Satan.


I give you a talk from a person reading a text, a player-piano person said to be…whatever.  You know.

I’ve written about this misreading of the Book of Abraham before, and apparently this speaker didn’t quite understand what I explained in the fifth volume of the cultural history, that the “one like unto God” is Satan, not Jesus or Michael.

His talk is about marriage or whatnot, but it’s built on a curious misreading of scripture, stitching an assemblage of quotes stripped from context and re-arranged to give a sense of God-speaking.

He said one Saturday [and I will interrupt to explain to him where he’s wrong in brackets, as a teacher to a student giving a presentation in class]:

Prophets have revealed that we first existed as intelligences and that we were given form, or spirit bodies, by God, thus becoming His spirit children—sons and daughters of heavenly parents.

[No.  We didn’t exist as “intelligences” but as spirits, which are not created nor made, and exist eternally.  This Mormon tradition is in direct contradiction to LDS Scripture.  Intelligences are what Abraham saw initially in a particular vision, i.e., among the stars.]

There came a time in this premortal existence of spirits when, in furtherance of His desire that we “could have a privilege to advance like himself,” our Heavenly Father prepared an enabling plan. In the scriptures it is given various names, including “the plan of salvation,” “the great plan of happiness,” and “the plan of redemption.” The two [two?] principal purposes of the plan were explained to Abraham in these words:

[Now, the question is, whose words are these?]

“And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these [spirits] may dwell;

“And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

“And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; … and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.”

[I’ll tell you who is talking: Satan.  Yet, this speaker tells us that Satan is “our Heavenly Father”!  Now, I don’t won’t to say you can’t worship Satan as your father, certainly many signs do point toward that conclusion, but…in any case he did not make us “spirit beings.”  Maybe he claimed that achievement, but he’s a liar, and calling a liar your heavenly father makes you the seed of Cain.  They don’t have the priesthood, right?]

Thanks to our Heavenly Father, we had already become spirit beings. Now He was offering us a path to complete or perfect that being. The addition of the physical element is essential to the fulness of being and glory that God Himself enjoys. If, while with God in the premortal spirit world, we would agree to participate in His plan—or in other words “keep [our] first estate”—we would “be added upon” with a physical body as we came to dwell on the earth that He created for us.


Right.  So, I let everyman worship according to his conscience, satan, jesus, Thomas S. Monson, Gold, Money, whatever the idol be.  What are the fruits of worshipping Satan?

Power, wealth, respect, honors of men, mingling among secret combinations to plan in darkness, claiming that God has given his power over to man, that we shall hasten his work, that you must follow our rule or not be rewarded…If that is your desire, this plan must be carried out perfectly.  If you, Elder Christofferson, do not live up to every covenant you make with your Lord, your rebellion cannot be ignored. You will be cursed. So, do his works: Build another mall, grind another face of the poor, boast of your good works, plan in secret, sell access to your God, and sell his powers.

My God declared the spirits “Good.”  Even you and your father.

Add:  For more on why I think, and who I think God is, and so on, these THREE posts

Like Unto,


Like Unto God

might clarify somewhat

Or you could watch this YouTube Video on the Book of the Lamb


  1. Well, I did think of you (in this context) during his talk, but of course you weren’t listening. But I guess if a tree falls in a forest, it’s eventually heard. Elder Christofferson, however, seems oblivious to trees falling in Indian forests.

  2. I’m not sure you’re right, but I’m not sure you’re wrong either.

    There are a few people talking at the end of Abraham 3:
    1. [u]God (v.23):[/u] stands in the midst of noble and great ones (among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers.)

    2. [u]one among them [noble and great ones] “like unto God”:[/u] this person wants to prove people and see if they will do anything the Lord their God commands (v23-24). This person wants to make an earth (if this person is God, then he can accomplish this, if he’s Satan, he can’t)

    3. [u]The Lord:[/u] says in v27, “Whom shall I send?” Two answer.

    4. [u]one who “answered like unto the Son of Man”:[/u] says: “Here am I, send me.” (v.27) Gets sent by the Lord. This person is presumably Jesus.

    5. [u]another:[/u] answered, “Here am I, send me.” Is not chosen. Gets angry, does not keep first estate, many follow him (v.28). Presumably Satan/Lucifer.

    Daymon asserts that “one among them [noble and great ones] like unto God” is Satan. “Like unto God” is different from, “God”, right? Maybe. But then in v27 “one who answered like unto the Son of Man” seems to be Jesus, so here “like unto Son of Man” = “Son of Man” so perhaps, “Like unto God” = “God” also? On the other hand, the name Michael means “one who is like God”. Even so, while Michael/Adam may have been involved in making an earth, it’s hard to make a case that Michael is the one proving us to see if we will do whatever the Lord God commands, unless one subscribes to Adam/God theories, whatever that means.

    But if it is God who wants to see if we will do everything the Lord God commands, the question remains, why? Is it really the case that God only wants obedience to all sorts of commandments, or does He want us to become like Him? Do we become like Him by merely following directions? Is God our God just by following directions?

    Maybe there is only one simple direction, and following it perfectly would make anyone like God. Matthew 7:12 might summarize this single direction: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

    1. And it may be the case that anyone who expands on this single commandment is doing the Devil’s work.

  3. O, the fruits of Satan! Satan, who works in a kitchen on the 10th floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial building (he edits GC talks when he’s not cooking). Well, I was up there memorializing Joseph Smith on a recent occasion, and I am sad to say that nobody (nobody!) remembers that guy over a mild barley drink at his own memorial building. It’s not on the menu. What you *can* get, however, is something called the “Pigpen Burger.” Oh, it is fearsome fruit. Fearsome. What’s on it? You have your basic refined kaiser bun, a third pound of ground beef piled with pastrami and bacon, all of this topped with cheese that is itself topped by EVEN MORE CHEESE which has been slathered in barbecue sauce. Yes indeed: Bread, meat, and cheese. It’s the hedonistic trifecta!

    As with all Satan-fruit, Pigpen Burger fools you into thinking it’s sheer goodness–goodness all the way down, around the corner, and down again to about parking level 2 or so. That’s when you realize that Pigpen Burger has changed into **The Gluttonous Destroyer, Annihilator of Livestock, Mocker of Salubrity and Seditious Betrayer of The Word of Wisdom**, AND IT HAS GONE THROUGH YOU FASTER THAN A BUM CAN GET KICKED OUT OF A LUXURY, CHURCH-OWNED PARKING GARAGE.

    A luxury parking garage? Oh yes, for there is space there. And that hallowed space (a building-up of the Kingdom of God) is nicer than the office where I sit and work all day long. You’re afraid to fart in it, let alone lay down a yellow skid. That was the longest drive home I ever had, is what it was. I’m lucky to still have my appendix.

  4. Step right up! Do you wish to be a prophet? Do you wish to be a seer? Do you wish to be a revelator? Do you wish to be a translator? Do you wish to be a healer? Do you wish to have power to move mountains? Do you wish to be even as God is? Have I got a deal for you!

    For the low, low price of your absolute obedience, it can be ALL YOURS! Then you, too, can be like unto god and build estates without end, then populate them with hordes of spirits who will be tried and tested at every turn to see if they, like the waters will do “as they were ordered;” or like the grass and herbs, to see if they will obey; or like the beasts and cattle, to see if they will do as you tell them. Behold, just like your other creations, “they shall be very obedient!!” Because that’s always the case when men are put into a newly organized world! (Well, excluding this one, of course).

    In doing whatever you are told, will you not please him? And in doing what he does, will you not become like him? Being commanded in all things is a small price to pay for the reward of such power!

    Therefore, ask, if it’s what you want; specifically, if you want glory and power and to be unto the right hand of your god, then make an oath-like gesture and bind yourself to him.

    (Where much is given, much will be required. If you sin against the greater light, you shall receive the greater condemnation. If you do not keep your lord’s sayings, you will become transgressors, and justice and judgement are the penalty which will be affixed to you. He is bound when you do what he says to the letter, but when you don’t do what your lord says, you have no promise. Indeed, by your own works you will bring cursings, wrath, indignation and judgments upon your heads.)

  5. Lemuel, I think the material they used to make the place for the spirits did not come from their own work, but was given to them by God. In this case, God is Jesus. The one like unto God would be Lucifer, an imitator. The like unto the son of man I will call Michael, who was sent.

  6. I don’t think it is the case that God simply wants obedience, nor do I think he wants us to become “like him” (a statement that seems to make sense only because grammar and language allow it). The desire to become like someone else seems to be a bid to snatch at that someone’s power, while possibly denying one’s own. Besides, how would someone know if they had become “like” that other being, anyway? Only through some kind of reduction of that being to a comparable third thing, but then we’re not dealing with that being any more, but some third thing said to represent the thing we want to be like. The trading of one idol (obedience) for another (becoming like). All darkness. Count me out either way.

    I suppose there is something useful, however, in hearing a god say, “here’s how I do things, give them a try if you want some idea of what I am.” But let’s not imagine we now have at our disposal some kind of mechanism (perfect plan, or balm) for the creation of god-beings from whatever it is we happen to be (just apply twice daily, every day for the rest of your lives, you lazy, unworthy shits, or it won’t work, and god will become unimpressed with your lack of “faithfulness”, blah, blah, blah). No, our being whatever it is we are seems to have always been “Good” enough.

  7. A question Daymon-

    I’m on your side but am at a loss to explain how if Joseph had ‘no other gift’ but translating the BoM, how did he manage to translate the rather incredible BoAbraham especially when you don’t take anything else he said to be of equalweight to the BoM ie the BoC and/or D&C?

    Also if he lost any gifts, how does the BoA become valid?

    I have studied you deeply and know you have a good view on what priesthood means- was JS part of this priesthood (a group of pre-ordaoned priests without beginning or end perhaps) as you think, as opposed to ‘having’ the ‘priesthood’- a vague ‘power’.

    These are important things to think about i say.

    1. I agree about the importance, but I cannot say that Joseph had “no other gift.” Maybe I said this somewhere, but I cannot recall it. I suppose his gift was “of translating,” and that would extend to other translations. Yes, I reckon he was in “a priesthood,” of sorts, an order of holy ones. But nothing is as clear as we’d like, you know.

  8. I notice how it is prophets who do the “revealing” these days. What “prophets”? Those that supposedly say the things attributed to them. Why not just say “It appears to me the Book of Abraham says…”? Probably because “revealing” means “continuous revelation” means “this is the truth of the matter because I say so” (as opposed to a declaration based on a perhaps dodgy reading of Abraham that is at least subject to thoughtful consideration).

  9. As a former missionary to Nicaragua, I saw firsthand the desperation of people there. Most were lucky to make $20 a week. Yet those who were members of the church still had to pay tithing. In fact, tithing was the #1 thing we as missionaries were instructed to teach: Nicaragua remains as the only country in central america that doesn’t have a temple, and we were told that there won’t ever be a temple unless the members get serious about paying tithing. WTF, seriously? Consider for a moment that in one year, tithing would account for 5 weeks of wages. You’re basically asking a family to starve for a month! And good luck trying to get welfare from the church: it’s like pulling a tooth.

    1. The Temple is all about sucking money into LDS, Inc., and binding members to the Church through FEAR. There’s nothing Holy about the Temple ceremony. It’s a Luciferian/Masonic ritual.

  10. ALL of the doctrine of pre-existent spirits came from Swedenborg, a prolific mystic who died 30+ years before Joseph Smith was born, and whom Joseph Smith studied and plagiarized. Swedenborg is where the “First and Second Estates” was copied from. You can read everything Swedenborg has written at Then you will see where a good portion of Mormon doctrine was derived from.

    1. OK, so I should worship Swedenborg, then, as he apparently originated the doctrines? Or are you saying they must not be true, because someone (in your reading) seems to have said the same thing? I’m a bit confused, it seems.

  11. Just found something that might be relevant to your re-posting of this write-up and all the evilness that the servants of the “One Like Unto God” are spewing these days, casting out children from among them:

    “But those who cry transgression do it because they are the servants of sin, and are the children of disobedience themselves. And those who swear falsely against my servants, that they might bring them into bondage and death— Wo unto them; because they have offended my little ones they shall be severed from the ordinances of mine house. Their basket shall not be full, their houses and their barns shall perish, and they themselves shall be despised by those that flattered them. They shall not have right to the priesthood, nor their posterity after them from generation to generation. It had been better for them that a millstone had been hanged about their necks, and they drowned in the depth of the sea.”

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