Ensign Peak Documents: Round One

Due to the Bloomberg article, there’s some actual interest in Ensign Peak Advisors.  Here you can download some documents I’ve found, and a PDF of pages from The Book of Mammon.  Maybe someone can help put it all together.  This isn’t all I’ve got…

Map of the business location


Documents: Investments and So On

MDU agreement EPA

Enron Ensign Peak


20071102_3_Allegati_Esito Ensign


By The Numbers: Church Charity as Percentage

The following entities have higher percentage of whatnot than the Corp. of The President has in Charitable Giving of its Estimated Assets:

Poverty rate in Utah (11.5%) (Been there, done that)

Alcohol in Utah Beer (3.2%) (not so much…actually never)

African Americans in Utah (1.3%) (not that I know of)

Polygamists in Utah (2.5%) (nope)

Lesbians in Utah (1%) (umm…)

Percent of Utah State budget that goes toward “Corrections” of convicted felons (2.6) (hopefully not)

Percent of adult Utahns who used an opioid not prescribed to them (2-3) (nope)

Surgeries Cosmetic versus non-elective (medical) in Utah (66%) (probably should, but no)

Percentage of Aborted Pregnancies in Utah County, Utah (2.3%) (no)


You know where this is going…while the math isn’t strictly correct, would you be more likely to be given a combined breast augmentation – abortion in Utah County, by a convicted black lesbian using opioids as a sedative, attended to by a poor polygamist hermaphrodite getting a buzz from a beer… OR (as an average American) find yourself receiving humanitarian aid from the Corporation of the President of the Church?

That’s a Clown Question, Bro.

But perhaps you are into second hand medical equipment, used crutches, expired meds, and, oh, and happen to live in China…Could be Win-Win! Read Here:  http://www.worldwatch.org/node/3863


Mormon Creed

The New Mormon Creed: That’s a Clown Question, Bro.

Now useful in the following dialogues:

As a Mormon, you must really like Mitt Romney?

How does the story of Nephi and Laban apply to your daily life?

How has City Creek Mall made you a better person?

How many of you guys brought your manuals today?

When can we come over to home teach you guys?

Do you accept this calling from the Lord?

Is there anything we can do for you?

Lucifer, what is this thou hast done?

New Political Poll and Polygamy

The NY Times has a summary of a few polls tracking “favorability” of various practices and things, among Republicans, Democrats, and Independents.

Polygamy is acceptable by 5% of Republicans (R), 14% of Independents (I), and 11% of Dems (D).  Here’s a list of what is more acceptable than one man marrying two women (the sequence of numbers refers to R, I, and D):

Gay and Lesbian relations (36, 58, 66)

Abortion (22, 40, 52)

Pornography (21, 32, 39)

Suicide (9, 12, 21)

Human Cloning (10, 9, 13)

Apparently if The Mitt Romney of Tomorrow ran for political office, he’d have more success as a gay pornstar abortion doctor, who dabbles in human cloning and advocates suicide as a solution for life’s troubles, than if he treated two women as wives.  The fact that Joseph Smith remains beloved by a great many, studied and admired, despite such prejudice against his lifestyle, shows just how much truth he must’ve brought forward.